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The good news is that there were some survivors of these disasters. Jerry Van Dyke went on to become "Luther" in Coach, Pat Morita became "Mr. Miyagi" in The Karate Kid, and Jerry Lewis went on to become a hit in France. However, not all was good. Here's the best of the worst.
My Mother the Car
Often mentioned on a variety of "worst" lists, My Mother the Car really wasn't as bad as people have made it out to be. Jerry Van Dyke played Dave who discovers that his mother has been reinCARnated as a 1928 Porter. As in Mr. Ed, only Dave can hear her speak. Ann Sothern played Mom, and Avery Schreiber played the evil Capt. Mancini. While the show wasn't as bad as some of the other entries of the day, critics singled it out. We consider it to be the Citizen Kane of bad TV.
The Sonny Comedy Revue
Sonny and Cher's marriage had busted up the act and their successful The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour. Cher started her own show entitled, not surprisingly, Cher. It enjoyed mild success. Sonny's show, on the other hand, was a disaster. Sonny without Cher was like watching Zeppo without the Marx Brothers. Teri Garr was a regular as was the talented (and underrated) Billy Van. ABC mercifully cancelled the show after a few months.
Mickey
Mickey Rooney didn't have much luck in television. His previous sitcom, The Mickey Rooney Show ran for only two seasons. This one lasted a few months. He played a former Coast Guard recruiter who inherited a hotel in Hawaii. Sammee Tong (from Bachelor Father) and Tim Rooney (Mickey's son) co-starred. This bland affair appeared ran against Dick Van Dyke and appeared in the ABC line-up following the Patty Duke Show and Shin Dig. Rooney, the biggest box office star in the 1930's, couldn't find his audience.
Blansky's Beauties
Nancy Walker was fresh from a successful run on the Mary Tyler Moore show and Rhoda. The network gave her a shot at her own show, The Nancy Walker Show. It bombed. Five months later, she was in Blansky's Beauties as Nancy Blansky, a Las Vegas manager in charge of jiggly showgirls. The show folded. Two failures in the same season for this talented actress.
You're in the Picture
None of our editors have seen this show. It doesn't matter. Even the star, Jackie Gleason, hated this quiz program. Four panelists (Arthur Treacher, Keenan Wynn, Pat Carroll, and Jan Sterling) put their faces through a cardboard cutout of a picture and tried to guess what picture they were in. Confused? So was everyone else. The show was awful and Gleason pulled the plug after only one episode. The following week, he spent most of the show apologizing for the rotten show and did patter with the audience for the time remaining.
Me and the Chimp
The premise was simple enough; Father has daughters who discover chimpanzee and want to keep it. Chimp causes mayhem. Laughter ensues. The problem is that laughter didn't ensue and this show was off the air in a matter of months.
Queen for a Day
Queen for a Day took ordinary women with major problems in their lives and made them compete for audience sympathy. The winner got all sorts of prizes and was crowned "Queen". So, how do you win? Give the biggest sob story you can. Audiences loved it. Critics hated it. History has judged that it be placed on this list.
The Chicago Teddy Bears
Not funny. Don Corleone should've whacked this show. A sitcom set in a 1920's speakeasy, it starred Dean Jones. The only interesting thing about this show is that it's failure allowed Jamie Farr to become available to play in M*A*S*H.
The Partners
The Partners starred Don Adams and Rupert Crosse as Lennie and George, a pair of wacky police detectives. The show tried to capitalize on the Get Smart fame of Adams but simply fell flat. Critics panned it and everyone else was much too busy watching All in the Family
The Jerry Lewis Show
This show should have worked. And it did, eventually, without Jerry. To be fair, it wasn't his fault. The time slot was strange (9:30-11:30) and the show was a whopping two hours long (9:30-11:30). After 13 weeks, executives re-structured the show as The Hollywood Palace, a one hour variety show with alternating guest hosts. The Jerry Lewis Show was an economic failure. \\$8 million was the operating budget. It is the Heaven's Gate of TV.
Mr T. and Tina
You know a show is in trouble when even the promos are bad. One promo for this show showed Mr T. (Pat Morita) flying through the air in a jet pack, totally out of control. This show about a Japanese inventor trying to get used to American life could have been charming if it weren't for the goofy antics that were forced into the script.
Holmes and Yo-Yo
Holmes and Yo-Yo was billed by the network as a comedy team in the tradition of Laurel & Hardy and Abbott & Costello. They didn't even come close. Richard Shull played Holmes, an accident prone detective who was given Yo-Yo, a robot cop played by the talented John Schuck. Aimed at the younger set, it failed. We know, because we were the younger set in those days.
Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?
You've all seen it and talked about it. Darva Conger ended up in Playboy. Rick Rockwell ended up with his life picked over. Jay Thomas tried to sneak off quietly. (Ahaaa! Thought we forgot about you!). Move over, My Mother the Car, Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire is our editors' pick for the worst TV show ever.
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