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The Fall season will soon be upon us and we’ll be seeing some new shows. Some of them will stink and they’ll need to be replaced. If any of you executives are stuck for an idea, please feel free to take one of mine…Bears in the Cubes
I think a good idea for a show would be to have people attacked by bears. I don’t mean the typical bear in the woods attack. I’m thinking more along the lines of setting up cameras in an office and then just letting a bear loose in the building.
My Fingernails
I’m surprised that nobody has thought of this sooner; a show dedicated to fingernails. We need to cater to the growing obsession of nail decoration. The show would have segments on polish, design, removers, and the proper way to use an emory board.
Pizza Delivery Guy
This show would be like Cops except that instead of videotaping police officers in action, we follow the exploits of a guy who delivers pizza. Find out whether these guys actually spit on your food.
Smashing Things
Each week contestants take out their aggressions on various items that upset them. Items might include cell phones, slow modems, or candy machines that eat your money without giving you that Clark bar.
Bunnies
No violence on this show. All we see are fluffy bunnies. Watch them hop around. See them wriggle their little bunny noses. Relax as you see them hippity hopping hither and yon with their little fluffy tails. Friday nights from 8 to 10.
You’re the Umpire!
Take the guy out of the stands who criticizes the ump and let him umpire the game for one inning in a major league game. It won’t make a difference for baseball. I understand that these games are fixed anyway.
Ersklot numblunk
A show in which all characters speak in gibberish.
Treasure Hunt!
Reality game show in which contestants search for treasure on a tropical island. The twist is that there is no treasure. Watch as 20 people search furiously for something that isn’t there. We let them in on it in the final episode and all have a good laugh.
Meet the Whales
Sitcom. Family of humpbacks moves into suburban neighborhood. Without water, they collapse from their weight and slowly die. Co-starring Bernie Koppel as the bachelor oceanographer next door.
Fun with Paper
I envision this as a show that does fun things with paper. I’m not really sure what fun things you can actually do with paper. Frankly, I don’t have any ideas at all on the subject. It just seems to me that we have an awful lot of paper lying around and that we should be having more fun with it.
I think that these are some pretty decent ideas. Maybe the bears in the cubes is a bit dangerous. But we can fix that by substituting a guy in a bear suit. I’m told that the original pilot for Friends started that way. Originally, it was six people dressed as lion tamers.I’m open for suggestions. In show biz, you need to be flexible.
Justin Braveman is a film student and all around slacker from the Seattle area.
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